It was an amazing night at the Larson-Sweeny WWF (World Wedding Federation) Ultimate Smackdown contest held at the St Francis Drake on Saturday.
The Good Time Girls
A confused nanny from Wisconsin blundered into a wedding party and was heard screaming "I just love Lesley, what a milf!". Then three potential good time girls -- one apparently still lost on her way to Nebraska's 2002 Rose Bowl appearance -- wearing identical dresses were seen cordoning off the bar and threatening violence to any men who came between then and their champagne. A stray former fashion model, at the party as the result of a bet (which he lost), became the subject of a bitch-slapping fight between some of the good time girls. While sources are unclear as to who won, apparently the Wisconsin nanny took him home. At another table, several confused lesbians claimed that they were married to absent men, while one young boy took to dancing with seven young girls, making most of the old men jealous and reminiscing fondly of the time before they needed Viagra.
The Expectorants
As things spun out of control, a cute young (married) chick in a dress stolen from a mafia chieftain's daughter was spotted dancing on stage with a man who, it was alleged by a local Rabbi in training earlier in the day, was judged to be a bit old for that sort of thing. And then she was being tossed in the air and publicly undressed... before the man proved he was a bit old to shoot his load, (of elasticized fabric), as far as his friends needed it to go.
Gatorious Extraction
Much later, a drunk man in a yellow suit with a very sore big toe was seen making off with a digital camera. Some of the results were later found at
this web site although apparently bribes could be offered to have some of the pictures "disappeared" before they were archived by Google
Smooth dude moves in on bride...
..... and in the wee hours somewhere in the mist the words "Oh Yeahrrr, Oh Yeahrrr" were echoing down Powell Street
And in the continuing Seinfeld episode without the punchlines that is my life, stuff happened over Thanksgiving and I had a digital camera, so read on.
First up was a huge dinner at the amazing Susan Mactavish Best's opium den of sin and Turkey. Imagine the longest narrowest one bedroom Railroad apartment that you can.
Railroad Corridor
Then imagine setting up a table going down the middle of it and providing 25 people with dinner, including a totally over the top with the trimmings Turkey extravaganza. And allowing guests to drag along their orphan friends like KT.
Dining car converts into Bedroom on this train
Then imagine doing this about 5 times a year (and that's just the times I'm invited and know about and she doesn't even like me!!) including Thanksgiving.
KT looking devilish
Then you'll understand why SMB is the Queen of San Francisco
I want to marry her and have her babies....
...but so does Jenny
Here's lots more of the happenings at
at SMBs.
A little later, Regina showed up from Utah. We went drinking with boyz (Messrs Seba and Gatto).
Reggie and the boyz
The next day we went hiking with Carolyn, the Geography professor from LA. Yes we got lost!
Fat guy and geography professor lost in East bay wilderness
Matthew plays Barry
So I went to a conference at SBC Park, home of the SF Giants and conveniently located 3 blocks from my house! And they took us on a tour of the ground and I got to hit in the Giants batting cage (and I smoked a few n'all!). And then my friend Laura got to mug as Barry Bonds too.
Laura plays Barry too
And here's the real thing
The rest of the
SBC photos are here
Julie showing that lingerie isn't just for the bedroom...
Here are the pics from Julis Smith's party. Go to
here. Yup a drunk guy with a digital camera is not a pretty thing.
And yes I have the digital camera back, so this photoblog will be used a little more in the coming months...
