Matthew's News and Gossip: Ann & Jim's Wedding--Shock-Horror Probe

Matthew's News and Gossip

A man with no talent, but armed with a digital camera, can waste lots of bandwidth

Saturday, November 27, 2004

 

Ann & Jim's Wedding--Shock-Horror Probe

It was an amazing night at the Larson-Sweeny WWF (World Wedding Federation) Ultimate Smackdown contest held at the St Francis Drake on Saturday.


The Good Time Girls

A confused nanny from Wisconsin blundered into a wedding party and was heard screaming "I just love Lesley, what a milf!". Then three potential good time girls -- one apparently still lost on her way to Nebraska's 2002 Rose Bowl appearance -- wearing identical dresses were seen cordoning off the bar and threatening violence to any men who came between then and their champagne. A stray former fashion model, at the party as the result of a bet (which he lost), became the subject of a bitch-slapping fight between some of the good time girls. While sources are unclear as to who won, apparently the Wisconsin nanny took him home. At another table, several confused lesbians claimed that they were married to absent men, while one young boy took to dancing with seven young girls, making most of the old men jealous and reminiscing fondly of the time before they needed Viagra.


The Expectorants

As things spun out of control, a cute young (married) chick in a dress stolen from a mafia chieftain's daughter was spotted dancing on stage with a man who, it was alleged by a local Rabbi in training earlier in the day, was judged to be a bit old for that sort of thing. And then she was being tossed in the air and publicly undressed... before the man proved he was a bit old to shoot his load, (of elasticized fabric), as far as his friends needed it to go.


Gatorious Extraction

Much later, a drunk man in a yellow suit with a very sore big toe was seen making off with a digital camera. Some of the results were later found at this web site although apparently bribes could be offered to have some of the pictures "disappeared" before they were archived by Google


Smooth dude moves in on bride...

..... and in the wee hours somewhere in the mist the words "Oh Yeahrrr, Oh Yeahrrr" were echoing down Powell Street


posted by matthew  # 4:26 AM
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